Girl Poem

A Girl Poem

I shave my legs.
I sit down to pee.
I can justify
any shopping spree.
*
I don't go to a barber
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
*
I can balance a check book.
I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends
about the size of my ass.
*
My beauty's a masterpiece.
And yes, it takes long.
And I can admit
to others I'm wrong.
*
I don't drive in circles
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem
admitting I'm lost.
*
I never forget
an important date.
You just have to face it,
I'm usually late.
*
I don't watch movies
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay
to remember the score.
*
I won't lose my hair.
I don't get jock itch.
Just 'cause I'm assertive
don't call me a bitch.
*
Don't say to your friends,
"Oh yeah, I can get her."
You're dreaming, my dear.
I can do better.
*
Flowers are ok.
But jewelry is best.
Look at me, idiot.
Not at my chest!!
*
I don't have a problem
expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lieing.
You look at the ceiling.
*
Don't call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it, you dick?